Samsara's Journey into Tantra  :  11/2/13 


If i was to succeed ever in such a powerful world i had to find a a way of gaining some control and boosting my confidence . Curiosity led me to resources about the world of Tantra . I read books to educate myself , joined massage forums to network with other therapists , and i used meditation to help relax and focus . But the biggest lesson of all came from a new client who made an appointment to see me . When we met initially he explained that somebody had referred him to me .

Silently in my head i was quite excited at the thought that i was proving my ability in Tantric massage . Over a period of a few weeks the client became a regular , we enjoyed each other's company and shared stories .

Then the bombshell . He asked me if i wanted to change my life and make a vast amount of money ?  In this day and age who doesn't ?  His proposition was to support me in building my business and getting things established .
Now , i know my head can be a little dizzy  at times and i was thinking : "Yeah whats the punch line ? " 

Feet in first , I asked him , "What will you get out of this , and what is the aim ? "
He confided he had done something similar previously , and fell in love with the therapist , but it was awkward because he was married and she had a partner .
Unfortunately , they weren't together anymore , but i knew so much so much about this person and her life ( though i hadn't ever met her physically ) , it was kind of like a love triangle .

Our new partnership blossomed . He had more experience in the world of Tantra , promised he would market me professionally , and set up a website on the understanding i gave him 15% of my earnings . A win-win situation , it seemed, 
Weeks past and my work started to decline : unfortunately he didn't stick to what we agreed and i started to panic and feel upset .
Failure wasn't an option ; action was required . I took a crash course on marketing myself and instructed somebody to design a website . Things started to improve again , my confidence growing and very fortunate to meet very nice people through my Tantra practise , 

One day , I was chatting to one of my very nice clients about the business arrangement : he wasn't shy in coming forward with comments . Clearly upset by what i had shared with him , he said the arrangement wasn't a fair one and was immoral . I needed time to absorb this and has target to meet , to pay my business partner . Every morning my business partner called to see how things were ?  He said he had a new business idea to improve things and suggested i employed another therapist . { To be continued } ......

Samsara's Journey into Tantra ....

To all you hopefully friendly and curious people   , 




My New Year's resolution was to share my Journey through tantra. I'm a gorgeous 48 yrs young on Sunday and – “omg” - life has changed …
I was sexually abused as a young girl and couldn't wait to get away from home. I left when I was 16 years old, and I thought I knew it all. I didn't have any formal qualifications and worked as a waitress in a bistro bar. I had a boyfriend whom I met at school. We were childhood sweet hearts. Before I knew it I was sharing a flat. I was pregnant when I was 21 years old but still thought the world was mine, in the palm of my hand. Sadly the rose-coloured spectacles started to fail: my partner became physically violent, wouldn't work, constantly gambled and drank to excess. This continued for sometime and I fell pregnant with my second child, time went by but sadly, there were no positive changes. I decided I needed to gain some control and took on a cleaning job at the local teaching hospital. This motivated me further, to move forwards and train to be a nurse. Other than the ‘not so nice’ times at home, this was a very positive and happy time in my life; I worshipped my daughters but did struggle with working full time and trying to bring them up. The domestic violence increased and I felt there was no alternative but to move away with my daughters.


Life moved on, I was happy bringing my daughters up, I remarried but sadly that failed, with my daughters all grown up and me back to where I started. I didn't feel loved by a man, I couldn't understand why all this had happened.

In my heart I know I'm not an academic person but I believe I seek the best in everybody and always try to make a difference. I needed to sort this out in my head so I turned to the Well Woman's Centre and tried various holistic treatments, which led me down the path of re-training, to be a beauty therapist. I worked as support worker for people with acquired head injuries and slowly built up my own beauty business.


My health deteriorated and I made the decision to cut the long shifts and dedicate my time to working for myself. I reinvented myself, advertising my holistic treatments, massage and beauty.

One day I got a call from a man asking me if I did a Tantric massage.
A little naive and green, my answer was: “No. I'm sorry, I’ve never heard of it. Anyway after a long chat and mutual connection he booked with me for a Swedish body massage and we got chatting about the (to me) unknown world of Tantra.


So from little girl to full time mum, cook, cleaner and everything else, I had a life changing transformation into a nervous little butterfly. I have always been a spiritual person, blessed with a natural healing gift and believe a body is just a body to me, but couldn't come to grips with the world of Tantra. I was popular, and always busy with work.  Reflecting back it seems quite funny: there was I, on presentation wearing the full beauty therapists uniform, crisp white tunic and trousers, and my clients faces – well, what a picture.  This went on for some time and everyday I would wake up and look at my diary and feel physically sick, the vulnerability of it was driving me crazy. 
It was time for metamorphosis.